Nine months alcohol free

Back in December, I wrote an alcohol free plan and said I would review things around June time. It’s now July, so I’m late, but we’re in the middle of a few things, so I’ll let myself off.

Annyyyyway, the plan was simple:

• stay alcohol free for 3-6 months
• keep doing the things I enjoy
• see what actually changes
• avoid becoming an alcohol free preacher with a shit domain name

I’ve now been alcohol free since late October 2025. That means I’ve gone more than nine months without a drink, which still feels a bit strange to write. I still don’t know what that means for me long term, but to complement my experience, I’ve read enough books, watched enough videos, and heard enough stories to be pretty much an expert.

Jokes aside, this post serves as an honest reflection of how things have been since I stopped boozing.

Positivity alert

This post will be front-loaded with the good things - but I’m acknowledging up front it’s not all good. A lot of content I’ve consumed on this topic makes it seem like a one-way ticket to overhauling your life, but for me, it wasn’t. It certainly helps, but I will also dig into some of the uncomfortable stuff afterwards.

The wins

The biggest wins are boring, but arguably the best.

General health

Honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever felt better. It’s not purely down to cutting out alcohol, but it’s been the catalyst for other things like exercising more effectively, and eating better.

If I zoom in on the alcohol-specific things, there are still big wins though. Starting with no hangovers or rough mornings. I no longer wake up with a banging headache, dehydrated, or full of regret. I don’t spend half my weekend trying to become a functioning human again using toast, tea, and YouTube.

No more hangxiety either. I don’t wake up wondering what I said, what I did, or panicking about whether I still have my keys, phone, and wallet. I wake up, and… I’m awake. I’m almost always fresh and ready for the day.

My sleep is better. I don’t treat my watch as gospel, but the sleep tracking data is pretty clear: more sleep, more deep sleep, and less disturbed sleep.

I’ve not been generally “sick” since I stopped drinking - and I’m really not sure if that’s just coincidence, or my immune system is better, but I haven’t had a cold, flu, or virus. A lot of that might be due to the fact that I’ve become a borderline hermit and stopped visiting 13 bars per week though - so I take it with a pinch of salt.

And on top of that, I’ve dropped almost 20kg of unwanted weight - no crazy diets or fitness regimen - just more deliberate choices of food, commuting to the office twice per week by bike, and the occasional spin class or gym session.

Finances

They say a picture is worth a thousand words, so here’s one from my budgeting application showing my “Fun Money” expenditure since January 2025.

My seizure was in October, and ever since then, it’s been very minimal spending in the “Fun Money” category, but that has a very obvious downside which I’ll touch on later.

Time reclaimed

I haven’t spent a single hour nursing a hangover, or a weekend trying to recover, or a minute worrying about what happened the previous night and absolutely 0 time regretting my decisions. My evenings and weekends are free for hobbies, learning and spending time with people.

I can make plans for a Saturday morning now and trust that I’ll actually show up for them. That sounds like a very low bar for a functioning adult, but apparently it wasn’t always mine.

Stronger relationships

My relationships with friends and family feel stronger than ever. I find myself having fewer mood swings, and even when my mood turns, I can dig myself out of it much quicker.

What I don’t feel

This is where I differ from a lot of the sobriety content I’ve consumed.

I don’t feel like a completely new person. I haven’t unlocked a hidden level of consciousness. I don’t wake up every morning glowing with monk-like clarity, ready to journal beside a loch before doing an hour of yoga followed by an ice bath.

I’m just the game guy, just no hangovers.

That’s not to say there haven’t been changes, because there have, and avoiding alcohol has been a motivator, if not the catalyst. But it’s not the full picture. I’m also eating better and finding myself more active, and those things compound.

So no, I haven’t become some upgraded version of myself. Slightly less tired and less stupid on weekends, though? Absolutely.

The losses

We’ll call them losses, just so it’s a natural opposite to “The wins” above, but it’s not the correct word.

The social hole

Whilst my “Fun Money” spending has dropped, I can’t deny I feel like I’m having less fun.

I loved having beers after work in the office, listening to a “divorced Dad rock” playlist, then going to a few bars. Sure, I don’t remember every conversation, and I repeated the same shite stories over and over, but I felt I was having fun, and a large part of me misses that.

I don’t think I only miss the beer. I miss the ritual around it: finishing work, deciding the night might go somewhere, and letting someone else suggest “one more” without having to think too hard about it.

I’m 100% less social than I was, despite trying to do things I used to. I’ve gone out to play pool, gone to team events, visited pubs to watch football, and had a perfectly good time, but I also leave earlier. I decline more invitations and I definitely don’t chase the night in the way I used to.

Part of that can be considered healthy. Another part of it feels like a gap in my life I haven’t filled yet. I do miss those times, and I do sometimes feel like I’m missing out when I jump on my bike and cycle home at 10pm.

Alcohol has been part of my social life for all of my adult life. It loosens people up, makes awkward introductions easier, and gives a night some shape. I know it’s a poison. I know it disrupts sleep. I know it increases health risks. I know all of that. But I also can’t pretend it gave me nothing - that would be dishonest.

The honest part of me still wonders: is some level of risk worth it?

The boredom

I mentioned above having lots of extra time - the issue is, I haven’t found ways to fill it yet, so I do find myself being bored more often. When I’ve had enough time playing League of Legends, or watching stuff with the wife, and I’m too lazy or it’s too hot to go out, I’m just bored. I find myself just wasting time anyway, just as I would with a hangover.

I’m hoping moving back to Scotland will help me out with that - finding clubs to join, friends with similar interests, but yeh - the boredom is real.

Turkey really tested me

Arriving in Turkey tested me more than I expected.

The alcohol free options were pretty dreadful and suddenly the idea of a cold Efes sounded very appealing again. I knew that might happen, even foreshadowing it in my earlier post about re-evaluating my relationship with alcohol:

Now, I’m not saying I’ll never touch alcohol again - the temptation of an Efes on a boat in Turkey might simply be too powerful

I had to revisit some of my older blog posts and my wee “guiding light” note I wrote for myself. Cheesy? Absolutely. Useful? Annoyingly, yes. It reminded me why I started this in the first place.

The other thing I’m trying to keep an eye on is my stubbornness. I get competitive with myself and I don’t want to break my “streak”. Yes, I also had a four year Duolingo streak, so let’s not pretend this trait is new.

Where I land for now

Overall, avoiding alcohol has been a net positive.

I feel better, sleep better, spend less and have stronger relationships with the people that matter. Those are nice bonuses alongside the headline news: my health has one less risk factor.

But it has also left a hole. A “what do I actually do with this part of my life now?” hole.

I’m hoping that changes when we move back home. I hope to get involved in activities and communities, be back around English-speaking groups, go to familiar places, and meet people with more aligned interests. Maybe I just need to rebuild a social life that isn’t fully organised around pints.

For now, I think this is the point where I stop counting days, months, and checkpoints. I don’t think I need the scoreboard anymore.

I never saw myself as someone with a drinking problem. If I decide to have a drink one day, I don’t think that would mean I’ve failed. But I also can’t see myself going back to the old default - I don’t want to.

If alcohol comes back into my life, it needs to be much less often, much more deliberate, and never in situations where I’m already exhausted, travelling the next day, or generally treating my brain badly.

That might not sound dramatic enough for a sobriety post, but it’s honest.